By Tolani Oshin '24
I have a question for all of you: When was the last time that you did something that truly made you happy? Like, truly made you forget about the pending schoolwork that you had to do, or the millions of notifications on your phone, and simply let you be in the moment. Most of us (or at least me) probably feel like that hasn’t happened in quite a while, because a lot of our decisions are influenced and affected by people around us. When that happens, you don’t get the type of happiness that you would have gotten if you had not cared about what other people thought and did it by yourself.
For a lot of people, middle schoolers especially, having our own ideas and beliefs — not being persuaded by other people or social media — is pretty hard. It seems as if every move we make is because of what someone else has decided. In my life, I’ve found two prominent moments where I did exactly the opposite. In these moments I found the courage to do what I wanted for myself, no matter what other people told me, and I felt truly happy.
The first moment happened over the summer, at a camp that I went to. On one of the days, they announced that there would be a talent show happening in a couple of days. From that point on, I put my blood, sweat, and tears into picking, listening to, and printing out the lyrics to my song. I was extremely nervous about singing the song that I chose: "Kyoumen No Nami" by YURiKA. I was nervous because 1) she sang a really high part that my very alto self was very scared of, 2) it was in Japanese, so no one would know it or know what I was saying, and 3) I was going to be singing this in front of the entire camp! But I pushed on, not changing my song to something well-known. At every chance I got, I plugged my earbuds into my MP3 player and practiced.
Fast-forward to the day of the talent show, and I was called up onto the stage. Since we had gotten through the setlist quicker than I had anticipated, I was hit by a wave of anxiety. As the familiar music started to play, I focused my eyes on the back of the room and sang. Afterward, I found out that my friend’s brother was ecstatic that I chose that song to sing; he had watched the animé that the song came from and loved it!
Another moment when I decided for myself was actually quite recent — the Wednesday of Spirit Week this school year, to be exact. Most people remember it as Heroes and Villains day. My friend Julia and I planned to cosplay — or dress up as our favorite characters — that day, and I, being the major procrastinator that I am, decided to make my final decision of what character I was going to be the Friday before Spirit Week. The reason that it took so long was that I had tried to choose my costume on what other people would like, and not what I wanted to wear for myself. I had assumed that a lot of the kids would just not dress up, so when I thought of doing a cosplay I got insecure and was indecisive. As I walked home from the train that day, an idea popped into my head.
“What if I could be a character from Voltron!” which was my favorite tv show. That idea turned into my costume. My mom and I ordered all of the components Sunday evening, and with Amazon’s two-day shipping, the "costume" was scheduled to arrive on Tuesday, the day right before I was going to wear it. In the days leading up to the delivery date, I was nervous, checked the door twice a day for packages, was nervous some more, made some props in the STEAM shop during recess, was even more nervous, and checked the door once I got home.
Finally, when all of the elements came to our house, I did a quick try-on to make sure everything would go smoothly the next day. I felt both elated and scared at the same time, elated that I would be doing my first full costume, and scared beyond words that I would be going to GFA in an actual cosplay. The next day, I actually woke up on time (crazy, I know) and got ready. I put on all of the clothes, put on and styled the wig, ignored slightly confused looks from my dad, and worked the rest of the time trying to figuring out how glitter primer worked because if I was going to put glitter on my face, I was going to do it right.
As we got on the train, I got fewer stares than I thought I would, or maybe it was because I was looking down at my shoes the entire time, nervous beyond words. As I walked into school, I got a couple of compliments, but most people just looked at me, confused, and then walked away. Some people asked, “Who are you dressed up as?” “Princess Allura! From Voltron!” I said as I pulled up a picture of her on my laptop. “What’s… Voltron?”
I sighed and tried to explain my favorite show as best as I could while trying to get to class on time. Yes, everyone thought I was Elsa (which I WASN’T!), and yes, my wig got in the way of writing down my government notes, but I was still elated the entire time. But the best part of my day was the few people who actually knew who I was. Those few people who I talked to made my entire day, and validated me for doing everything.
You might ask, why didn’t you just choose to be a more popular character? Then you would have gotten more recognition, right? Well, being Allura was important to me. I mean, she was a space princess who actually looked like me! Being anyone else just wouldn’t have felt as right.
What I’m trying to get across through both of these stories is that you should take a little bit of time for yourself, and in that time not care about what everyone thinks for a bit. I know it’s extremely cliché, but it can lead to so many different things, such as finding a new friend, a new interest, or anything, really.
Doing fun things for yourself can help you to feel better about what’s happening in your life, and distracts you from being sad or stressed out. It works, believe me.