When I first visited GFA on a gorgeous sunny afternoon at an open house with my husband Jon and our two sons Jeffrey and Brandon, I was impressed with the rustic beauty of the building and overwhelmed with the prospect that private school could be a reality for our two sons---that they could actually walk through these hallways and be members of the GFA community.
Jon and I have always worked---Jon has been working since he was 13, and I've worked since I was 16. We pay our taxes and are law abiding citizens; however, never in our wildest dreams did we think private school was attainable, especially in Westport.
Make no mistake; it was not because we thought our boys didn’t deserve it. Rather, we were simply concerned about finances and the times we lived in. Someone realized that brilliant minds were falling through the cracks of the public school system and that, if the playing field was leveled academically, these students could succeed and bring untold blessings to society.
For example: Ben Carson grew up in inner city Detroit. His mother was illiterate, and his father left the family. In fifth grade his teachers considered Ben stupid and let him know that many times. He struggled with a violent temper and, in every respect, Ben's circumstances seemed to point only towards a harsh future.
Dr. Ben Carson, at the age of 33, became head of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins Hospital. He was the first surgeon to successfully separate Siamese twins at the head. I am positive the Binder twins and their family are eternally grateful, not to mention the countless other children he has helped. Dr. Carson was lifted from the cracks and given a chance.
My boys arrived at GFA via the Reach Prep Program. That program helped us to navigate the application process, and, for that, we are grateful.
Once they were enrolled, I worried about the boys’ emotional well being. They were going to be immersed in a world of privilege and social stereotyping. For example, Brandon said, “some of the kids think it is cool to talk to me in ghetto slang. They come up to me and say stuff like ‘what up dog’.” I asked him about his typical response, and he replied, “I say to them that being Black and Puerto Rican doesn't mean my way of speaking is sub-standard.”
I told Brandon not to be upset when people don't understand your culture. Not everyone associates with people of color and that does not make them bad people. So what they know often stems from sources that are often biased. I told him, “You now have the opportunity to show that there is another side to your race – the positive side that the media does not dwell on. You can help to change the negative stereotyping.”
My oldest son Jeffrey is a senior, and he has grown so much at GFA. He gave a speech last year at the MLK assembly and received a standing ovation. It certainly opened up another side of him. He was elected president of the 12th grade, and he joined the Beachside Express. I’ve never even heard him hum a tune—now he won't be quiet. Jeff went to the People of Color Conference this year in Denver, and I asked him why because he was not interested in diversity issues as an underclassman. When he heard Ms. Bergeron speak about gay issues, he realized that he was closed minded and needed to change his thinking. He realized how important it is to be careful about labels, especially the ones we keep in our heads. Furthermore, being here at GFA gave him the confidence to try things that were outside of his comfort zone, and it has been so heartwarming to watch him grow. For that I am grateful.
My freshman Brandon struggles to step out of his brother's shadow and make his own way, and I have no doubt he will. In sixth grade he gave a phenomenal speech at the MLK assembly. So, throughout middle school, he became the designated orator. Here at GFA all eighth graders have to deliver a speech on a topic that is important to their peers. Brandon’s speech showed that he felt safe enough at GFA to speak honestly about personal topics, and it showed his growth. He spoke about a day on his little league team when a white teammate called him a nigger. Brandon said that, in retrospect, he has realized that in the real world not everyone is open minded, and it showed him the importance of selecting companions based on the content of their character. I especially liked the speech he gave on graduation day in middle school—it showed his growth and confidence. He said, “we are about to embark on a new adventure and no matter how daunting it may seem we are ready for this! I want us to all remember the words that hang in the forum, Dare to be different, Dare to be Yourself.” GFA has helped him to be comfortable with being different and being himself. And for that I am grateful.
Our diversity committee has grown remarkably over the years. We have speakers that come and enlighten us about various subjects relating to diversity. We heard a young lady from GFA talk to us about her experiences as an adopted child; a courageous woman related the stabbing feelings associated with the misuse of the word, ‘retard’. Those are just two examples of the speakers we are exposed to. In a meeting I heard someone refer to a member of our community as a financial aid family---I cringed at a label that does not encourage and it is like putting a mark on you. Our goal as a committee has to be to remove negative labels and continue to grow.
My cancer has returned. It came back August 2008, and for a year I was on medicine that did not work. In September 2009 my doctor started an aggressive course of treatment, and the community here at GFA has rallied to support me and my family. When Lori found out, she organized meals for us, and, every Thursday, Jeff comes home with food provided by various parents and teachers. And, for that, we are grateful.
There are two roads for me ---Remission Road or the End of the Road. I am truly hoping for Remission Road but if it turns out otherwise, I am confident that the GFA community will be here for my boys. I am overjoyed that, during our September visit to GFA in 2006, we chose each other. For that, I am grateful.
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
"Well, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."
So she did, and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
"Hmm, "she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."
So she did, and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"
Attitude is everything.
Have a Good Day! Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly......